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The End of Cheese I hate the way you are So mean to me by far The most frigid girl That i have ever known You speak loudly, but When i'm not around You'll be just like them So shallow and obnoxious Please... That's enough… That's enough… Please... I've said this a million times before And i'm sick But all that i need And all that i bleed And all that i care for Is you You said that you'd call But time you'll be at home But you never did You said you did mean to Now i'm outraged As if we're engaged You made me realize I'm just your alibi Please... That's enough… That's enough… Please... I've said this a million times before And i'm sick But all that i need And all that i bleed And all that i care for Is you And all that i need And all that i bleed And all that i care for Is you I hate you.. This is it. What you see is true, this may be my final blog entry. Im tired of everything. Tired of not being appreciated, tired of feeling sorry for myself tired of thinking what might have been, tired of punishing myself about thing I should have done, tired of pretending who I am not, and im tired of getting hurt all the time. Well, no more… I don’t want to feel anything. My life has been a constant downward spiral since… since my heart started beating… everything changed… I was slowly losing my sanity and I guess I had at some point. Enough of this madness… I thought that everything will be worth it as long as I get my wish… but no, its not… so from now on, I will feel no more. Why do these things happen to me? I don’t deserve it… hell, no one does. Why is it so fucking hard?! Before all of this, I had a plan. I was on a path. I got lost but now that changes. I will do what I had been planning all my life. Nothing can stop me now… I think there is one thing but I doubt that will happen soon. Enough of my bullshit, emotional my ass, im done with that.
revealed by james at 6:46 AM
Release It's been a long time since my last post, the reason being there were too many tests to study for and I had some shit to deal with. To tell you the truth, I'm not really used to studying real hard for anything. Back in high school, I just crammed the night before and everything was fine. But now, it's a whole different story. I've been consistently getting low or even failing scores in all of my subjects. I try to think that those subjects are hard but no, that's not the reason... maybe I'm just lazy, but I think there's one more... I wish I was a bird. So I could fly away from everything... my problems, my insecurities, my loneliness, and everything that's bringing me down. I wish I could fly and be free. But I can't. I'm not a bird so I'm here, stuck in this slow motion train wreck that I call my life. I remember a conversation I had with Rachel; we both agreed that emotions and good grades are not independent of each other. It really is, especially to me. It's just that I'm missing her so much, and my heart only grows fonder and fonder after each passing day. I don't know what to think anymore... many thoughts are coming to my head and none of them are good. I just really want to see her... to be with her... why is life like that?! I get a taste of pure bliss and that's all I get, a taste... Damn it, I can't take this anymore!!! When will I get that final release?! But... I know better... the hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it... and I have places to go and promises to keep before I can go to sleep... so I think I'll just keep on going until something better comes my way. I hope it comes soon because I'm getting tired...
revealed by james at 5:18 AM
finally... first and foremost, thanks vinci and rach for creating the layout... grabe ang ganda, wala akong masabi! especially the d.i.t., i love it so much (wink, wink) haha... anyway like the url says, my blog is full of cheese, so dont go on saying that i didnt warn you, you chose your fate when you read this... so here we go... now where do i start? well, there i was, all alone in a corner watching as empty faces pass me by... my life has been like that... so cold... so empty... everyday i felt like i was hanging on a cliff feeling so helpless and desolate... but then something happened... somebody reached out their hand to me. suddenly i didnt feel so alone anymore, i finally saw someone with a face and that smile... God, i love that smile! just seeing that makes me smile too. and even if im in the darkness she was my shooting star, as i saw her i made a wish that she could be mine. but wait dont go, dont let me go... i need you... you mean the world to me. why is your light fading? please shine... smile... smile just for me. all i ever wanted was to make you happy and i tried my best. but you my shooting star, are just like other stars... they're out of my reach... and just like a shooting star it was beautiful while it lasted, but i knew it had to end. and now im back in the darkness... all alone and cold, waiting for the next shooting star...
revealed by james at 6:29 AM
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