It's been a long time since my last post, the reason being there were too many tests to study for and I had some shit to deal with. To tell you the truth, I'm not really used to studying real hard for anything. Back in high school, I just crammed the night before and everything was fine. But now, it's a whole different story. I've been consistently getting low or even failing scores in all of my subjects. I try to think that those subjects are hard but no, that's not the reason... maybe I'm just lazy, but I think there's one more...


I wish I was a bird. So I could fly away from everything... my problems, my insecurities, my loneliness, and everything that's bringing me down. I wish I could fly and be free. But I can't. I'm not a bird so I'm here, stuck in this slow motion train wreck that I call my life. I remember a conversation I had with Rachel; we both agreed that emotions and good grades are not independent of each other. It really is, especially to me. It's just that I'm missing her so much, and my heart only grows fonder and fonder after each passing day. I don't know what to think anymore... many thoughts are coming to my head and none of them are good. I just really want to see her... to be with her... why is life like that?! I get a taste of pure bliss and that's all I get, a taste...


Damn it, I can't take this anymore!!! When will I get that final release?! But... I know better... the hardest thing to do in this world is to live in it... and I have places to go and promises to keep before I can go to sleep... so I think I'll just keep on going until something better comes my way. I hope it comes soon because I'm getting tired...

revealed by james at 5:18 AM

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